"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
