What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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