Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
