oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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