I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
