It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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