i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
