the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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