my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I skipped work to stalk him.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize