you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
