Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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