I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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