that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
