I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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