Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
