So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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