All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
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btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
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My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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