At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I cut my penus on the lid.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
