I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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