you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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