He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
