Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
