Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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