i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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