forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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