I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
