She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
