His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize
