Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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