If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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