they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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