Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
