Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
