So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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