Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
