all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
