Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
