just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
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why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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