no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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