from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
