allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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