I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This baby is an asshole
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
