With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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