Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
