I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
