In America we eat man semen.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
