he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
