operation harelip BJ is a go
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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