I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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