I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
