Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
