honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i was born a porn star she said
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
