Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
