How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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