I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
