if only i could text you this smell
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
