you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
