btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
