I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I want a musical about memes.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
