just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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