This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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