So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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